Like Night and Day

Okay, so today is a new day and I feel 100 times better than yesterday. I went for a walk this morning at the park down the street. It is AMAZING!!! I walked on this winding trail surrounded by streams and beautiful trees. Definitely felt like I was in some National Park somewhere far away from city life. Luckily it isn't too hot yet to be able to enjoy. I walked at least 3 miles and soaked up some quiet time with God. I really felt like God was romancing me. He tries to do that all the time by showing me his beauty in nature, but I am not still long enough to notice. I continually try to find that romance in others and of course, I am always disappointed. No one can ever romance me like God.
I took some pictures on my cell phone, but of course I can't figure out how to get them off my phone or I would post them here.

I"M SINKING!!!!

It's midnight and I have that damn panicky feeling in my chest and I can't sleep. I am hoping by writing, it will go away. So I'm all moved in, and I keep telling myself, I need to go home. But I am home. I'm really sinking tonight and I hate that! After going ninety to nothing for 9 months, it's hard to just stop! I fight this every year and it usually takes about two weeks to finally relax. But to add to that, I am adjusting to living with someone again, trying to find my place, and survive the damn weather. We finally had a few hours yesterday of sunshine and laid out before it rained again. I am actually looking forward to starting school on Tuesday so that I will have something to do with my mind and my time.
My solace is to lay with Presley on the couch every night. Nothing like the unconditional love of a dog.
On a good note, I did have a decent Weekend. Not your typical Memorial day weekend, but considering all the rain, it was alot of fun. Hung out at Nat and Duders Friday night, Saturday day and night, Sunday night and Monday afternoon. I guess we are moving in, LOL. We sang top 500 oldies countdown songs and played Pit under the gazebo and yes I was the winner! I can be a bit competitive, especially after I have had enough beer. I really enjoy my new neighbors. It is nice to feel welcomed where you live. I know when I get home that Terry, the next door neighbor will be there waiting to have a smoke and beer and hear about the day. It is nice to have someone look forward to seeing you.
Last night we went and meet a bunch of teachers at the Magnolia to see Chalk. It's a smart ass movie about teaching. Watch the trailer, it is freakin hysterical. Or maybe just because we live the life or it could have been the two vodka crans before the movie. Afterward, we all went to Mi Cocina and ate then a few of us went to the Old Monk and had some more drinks, and some shots, thank God I wasn't the dd. Hung out with some people I didn't know that well and had a really nice time.
So I really do have alot to be thankful for. If it weren't for friends, this would definitely suck alot more. I am going to wakeup and have a much better attitude in the morning. Hopefully, the sinking feeling will go away, the Ambien is starting to kick in and then I really won't care.
I promise to write something a little less depressing next time.

Pink Razor Phone

Cailtin called yesterday and was so excited that she just got her first cell phone! It's a pink razor and she is so stoked! She doesn't get to have it until driver's ed is over in June. But she could hardly contain herself. Caroline graduated from Kindergarden yesterday and she is very excited about her ballet recital that is coming up. She told me all about her dress and for a 6 year old you would think she is the teenager.

Caitlin

I got an email this morning from my brother-in-law that made me bawl. Photos of Caitlin at her 8th grade graduation and a proud daddy talking about how she won the citizenship award at her school. I hate that I can't be there for all these important events. I got to be there for all of it for the first 7 years and that was so special. I can't believe that she can already be 14 and so grown up. Caitlin and I are soul mates, beans and cornbread, and my heart aches to not be with her. I love those kids so much and I am so proud of them. Got to get to Kansas!

May 22, 2007

School is almost out and again we are back to this place of change. I am beginning to think that if I don't have a major change every year, something is not right. Friday I am moving in with Suzanne and I think this is going to be a very good change for me. It is going to be a great way for both of us to save money and not being alone is a bonus. Luckily we get along well.
I will start summer school at UNT on June 6, so I will be busy with that, but since I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursday, I will get the 4 day weekends. I am wanting to crank out some hours so at the end of the summer, I will have 18 hours. Looks like a couple of the counselors are going to be retiring after next year, so I really think that God made this all happen at just the right time. Coincidence, I think not.
I am getting to take one cool trip this summer. I am going to Nasau Bay, (Houston, not the Bahamas) June 20 with Suzanne and our neighbors. They are really cool people and I think we are going to have a lot of fun. Crazy girls weekend!